I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
