You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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