I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
