What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
