Well douche your snatch and let's go!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
