Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i think my cat just said my name.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We need to get me chipped asap
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
