Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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