Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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