I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
