508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
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