my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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