I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
