Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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