Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
