all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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