At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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