Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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