I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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