I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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