I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
How external is "for external use only"?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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