and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
