I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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