The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
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Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
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You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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