I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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