woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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