There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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