Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
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Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
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when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.