our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
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I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.