You really coming over, don't trick.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
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He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.