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• (313): View more from Michigan

  You really coming over, don't trick.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.

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• (408): View more from California

  Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  Bad breakup?

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  I'm puking in a turkey pan....

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.

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• (805): View more from California

  Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.

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