I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
