Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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