lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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