why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
