So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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