Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
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Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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