your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
