im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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