yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
