I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
