The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
