yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
