Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
