In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
