I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
