did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
