He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
