he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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