can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
