She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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