if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She even gives head with a lisp.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
