So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
