Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
