win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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