Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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