Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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