Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
