I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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