i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
