Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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