Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
