Pappa wants mamma naked
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize