They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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