guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize